Delusional

Remember,
They’ll barely believe us

Banging at walls
In frustration,

Threatening meds
Without feeling
That heaviness
Hard on our chests –

Taking shallow breaths
Over sinks,

Weighed down
By fears now belittled,

And begging them still
Every second
For some air
Unworthily gasped

Despite knowing how death
Second guesses
Every failed attempt
At distraction

Like a symptom
Strangely persisting

While envisioning hope
Through neglect.

Such thoughts
Can cause certain ills,
But minds alone
Get persuaded

Hearing these words
From another:

“Anxiety tricks
What is real.”

I’m loved
Yet silently judged
Even when sick
Beyond caring –

Crazy to those
All around me,

Feigning concern
If provoked.

So call EMS
Or your doctors
Blaming weakness
Yet never quite sharing

Their own strength
Gaslighting victims,

Hearing laughs
Being carried away.

  • J. Pigno

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