I deserve this pain
As it comes
From failing to claim
Every moment
Where agony waits
Without patience
While happiness takes
Fewer turns

Than our suffering
Growing content
After weeks spent now
Finding answers
Never worth their weight
In successes
Overshadowed by fear
Feeling tough

When symptoms last
Beyond stretches
Like grieving wounds
Getting better
But crying still
Through their bleeding
Along each cut
Left behind

The surgeon made
Playing God
Believing hope
Was his hubris
Or your judgment calls
Choosing torture
To avoid real death
Through short hell

Not knowing what’s true
Looking white
On tables cold
Seeking heaven
Only finding knives
Despite angels
Now guiding his hands
Making holes

Until constant beeps
Open eyes
Soon waking up
Merely praying
That devil we chose
Was worth sinning
Though my penance
Just cannot agree.

• J. Pigno