Am I ignoring
The miserable truth
How riding this pain
Keeps me going
As evidenced by
Honest feelings
Being easy to write
Once again?

Their certain demands
Are now met
Through repeated misuse
Of each memory
When twisted in thought
Always anxious
After silent retreats
Holding back

During months left alone
Having nightmares
And journaling dreams
Even better
Than any such phrase
I could conjure
Would describe before grief
Came so close

After watching my life
Still unfold
Like tattered remains
Hiding pictures
On pages we’ve torn
Fighting demons
Soon coming right back
Taking shape

Since clawing with rage
Killing blessings
Seeking solace it learned
Was too precious
For losers whose prose
Demands hardship
Where happiness means
Lacking voice

If seeing those near
Often suffer
Brings words beyond brinks
Barely voyaged
Getting high off that fall
Growing steeper
Not worried how hope
Never lands.

• J. Pigno

I remember
That old man fell
Clutching his chest
Like in movies
On a tiled floor
Where he waited
For the help which came
Far too late

Near slot machines
Louder than screams
Drowning out words
As they shouted
Watching him squirm
Feeling helpless
While we walked right past
Staring down

With police all around
Blocking pathways
Shoving us soon
Even further
Preventing one’s glance
From connecting
Under lights so bright
They had burned

Like blown-glass suns
Bearing witness
Above large crowds
Never caring
When another soul there
Just expired
Amid chaos enjoyed
Out of greed

Where another scene lost
Behind madness
Remained my fear
Grown incarnate
During leisure now killed
Watching tragedy
Mature right before
Pleasant lies

By accepting such fate
More symbolic
Since this date was ruined
Seeing sadness
Emerge through air
Lacking warning
Much how our lives
Would unfold.

• J. Pigno

I’ve abandoned
Every last friend
From the fact this pain
Keeps persisting
With each passing year
Spent neglecting
What solemn divide
Merely grows

As holidays come
Only once
Reminding how time
Pushes roughly
Against our attempts
At such happiness
Squandered by trying
Too hard

When phone calls last
Many minutes
But visits seem sad
After seconds
Feeling their lives
Appear better
And yours truly dull
If compared

While suffering still
In that place
Wearing monitors
Catching those rhythms
Reflecting my heart
Truly broken
Like insides torn
Losing faith

Grieving yesterdays
Never much loved
Though hindsight twists
Certain moments
Since memories mold
Around wishes
Connections will shape
Seeking hope

Yet finding relief
Doesn’t last
Or stem from meals
Shared together
But hardens with age
Learning peacefulness
Means silently waiting
For death.

• J. Pigno

Where are the dreams
We once witnessed
Caught in these lights
Laid before us
Around each branch
Gently nestled
Strung across trees
Bearing bulbs?

I keep pining
For wishes long lost
After childhood’s end
Unassuming
As those innocent days
Often special
Soon yielded to life
Taking place

When seasons became
Nothing more
Than reminders of age
Always taking
Like an envious friend
Watching presents
Being opened again
That were yours

Until illness
Replaced every gift
Spending Christmas alone
Hearing laughter
Down hallways dark
Making hospitals
Feel like our home
Far away

While corners at night
Contain stars
Reflecting their glow
Rarely noticed
Off Yuletide wreaths
Shining evidence
Only can God see
Is still there

How faith persists
Despite hope
Throwing memories
Heaven will fumble
Beneath layered fears
Hiding meaning
Under thickening snow
Falling down.

• J. Pigno

There is much to be said
About trauma
Since it follows us home
Like a stranger
But ends up our friend
By accepting
There are angels in rooms
When we’re there

From appropriate scars
Without waste
For healing such wounds
Lacking witness
Other than eyes
Locking briefly
Before sharing their sights
Said aloud

Through bravest speech
Never placed
If waiting on space
Feeling welcome
Behind silent walls
Missing blessings
Once written outside
What was built

Beyond that shame
Undeserving
While hiding away
Almost always
Where proudest hurt
Deserves fanfares
So healing begins
Yet again

When another soul
Grasps at this soil
Pulling up truth
Beneath torment
Under buried beliefs
Merely mourning
Alone among thoughts
Pain imposed

Until light up above
Appears close
Taking faintest of shapes
Showing faces
Still staring right back
Also damaged
Yet conquering graves
Using prayers.

• J. Pigno

God help me
I really want nothing
Except for this pain
To expire
Like a bad dream
Always returning
But being awake
When it comes

While admitting now
Sleep never works
At relieving such fear
Still experienced
Except if that rest
Implies dying
Without even knowing
What hits

As doctors insist
Nervous hearts
Are reason enough
Behind torment
Causing these nights
So deserving
Since suffering means
Being right

Still excusing each twinge
Felt inside us
Or neglecting how truth
Too insistent
Appears through deep hurt
Purely physical
And mortally wrong
Left ignored

Seeing arrogant men
Always jealous
Of artists so free
They keep fighting
Before leaving behind
Honest wisdom
Admitting their lies
Never worked

Where beauty entails
Every evidence
Those medicines failed
Fighting nature
Knowing faith can’t abide
By rejecting
Our experienced ills
Very real.

• J. Pigno

It’s about time
For leaving early
After sharing
A couple good laughs
As those few days turn
Into decades
When happiness
Always seems rare

Until our goodbyes
Offer hindsight
Letting feelings once held
Become burdens
Where an exit now looms
Without warning
Even knowing how death
Cannot wait

Before each breath
Appears lost
Between said words
Still remaining
On emptier winds
Breezing past us
Pushing those doors
Sadly shut

So another life
Fades behind skin
Like invisible hearts
Barely beating
And heard through each chest
Amid silence
Until this flesh
Just gives up

Yielding questions
Rather than faith
Transforming that fear
From raw solace
But festering rage
Beneath memories
Hurting what hope
Gets replaced

Departing too soon
Being stubborn
Watching loved ones
Leap beyond reason
Over heaven’s cliff
Stealing moments
Yet to be had
Though they wish.

• J. Pigno

Success
Is a futile pursuit
Letting needs
Bring permanent failure
No amount of work
Could diminish
Knowing what man
Can’t achieve

As time alone
Never humbles
Before our God
Merely watching
How fighting those clocks
Barely startles
Such science detached
By His rules

Still trying
Despite growing old
Angry change
Just makes it apparent
Over fleeting strides
Faking progress
Stalled after youth
Falls apart

Where brevity
Offers us strength
Since foreseeing rest
Always coming
Through looming death
Stringing transience
Like darkened stars
Always there

Across black skies
Hanging low
While this moment fades
Into dimness
Tracing that glow
Beyond reason
Towards meaningful hope
Heaven hides

Wishing life
Was eternally blessed
Chasing light
Now forever existing
Different than breath
Soon expired
Promised nothing
But the singular chance.

• J. Pigno

We call best years
Unimportant
In the eyes of those
Still ignoring
What miracles dwell
Between moments
So profoundly spent
They’re a blur

Like weekends lost
On arcade games
Or feasts so grand
Food keeps filling
Our famished souls
Merely hungry
For one more meal
Sharing laughs

At that restaurant
Coming back home
Where childhood thrills
Weren’t memories
But times so real
They went missing
Among fleeting gifts
Barely earned

Before just dreams
Hold their truth
Within each soul
Surely willing
If exploring realms
Rarely ventured
After growing old
Far too fast

When this present
Remains ever dull
And filled by fear
Always mounting
While expecting
Another bad reason
Giving purpose
To meaningless ends

Those questions
Killing through hope
Never really alive
Though pretending
How tomorrow’s threat
Appears better
Than escaping today
Going mad.

• J. Pigno

I’m just so
Fucking disgusted
By the man whose views
Have grown jaded
Since feeling deep down
Disappointed
Through such very beliefs
He held dear

With his actions now
Beyond hope
That startle those close
Merely baffled
After taking their turn
Seeing hatred
Spew from these wells
Getting filled

Over years spent cold
Mostly running
Or hiding at home
Where things festered
Not worried for work
But salvation
Lost in one day
Between screams

While yelling towards God
Nearly gone
Never hearing these calls
Amid tirades
Always absent there
Despite begging
How faith might prove
Demons wrong

Yet knowing someplace
Beauty lives
If flourishing well
Outside torment
Gathering still
Into clusters
Until darkness claims
Every word

When forgiveness
Hardly seems real
Despite few attempts
Seeking penance
Among verses strewn
Like confessions
Across each line
Left behind.

• J. Pigno