I’m even
Running from dreams
On the days
Which follow
Phantoms

Into heartbreak
Self-inflicted
By what fear
My symptoms
Show

When remembering
Life went wrong
Each time
These thoughts
Should wander

Since my body
Tells of torment
Bravely speaking
If it
Shakes

With wildly
Flailing limbs
Sharing stories
Few
Would mention

Or believe
Their rightful duty
To express
For those
Who break

Like chest pains
Without cause
As my pulse
Spikes
Every morning

Rising quickly
Out of wailing
During showers
I once
Loved

Seeing mom there
At her edge
Sitting quietly
Near my
Bedside

While that constant
Blank expression
Suggests blame
More sad
Than death

Where forever
Grows so black
And my wedding
Just doesn’t
Happen

Resting empty
Outside being
In a place
No warmth
Exists

Or these words
Affirming love
Saying sorry
For such
Anguish

Still believing
God is waiting
Despite nights
My sleep
Says no.

– J. Pigno