We ruin our lives
With regret
Since pursuing
Supposed forgiveness
From the pain which
Promises nothing
When grace
Is purely received,

Never gained
But already earned
If belief means
Suffering greatly
After failures’s faced
Become mountains
Moved by faith
Now instead –

These tethered hands
Always forced
Until that day
We are sorry
After learning God
Doesn’t bargain
But provides free gifts
Unlike us.

Effort itself
Cannot change
This weakened flesh
Making choices
Towards sinful work
Merely dreaming
Of transient hope
Built through hurt –

Moments lost
In their riches
Like memories found
Seeking penance
Beneath each wrong
Weighing heavy
Until those souls
Truly grieve

What family formed
Throwing stones
Where honest love
Stood neglected
Over years spent
Praying on empty
Wishing money
Might fill them again.

Redemption speaks
Under stress
Between bad days
Finding chances
Offering threats
Hardly worthy
At rejecting
Heaven’s approach –

Steadying hands
Steering fate
So determined
No one would notice
How human flaws
Shape existence
Still learning mistakes
Never miss.

• J. Pigno

No one believes
I am sick ,

And perhaps
That’s part of the illness –

Forever ignored
Despite pleading
For assistance from pain
They can’t see.

My days
Are an endless threat
Of combatting
Various symptoms
Whose invisible scars
Always surface
Without any
Obvious cause –

A war on life
Leaving marks
Hidden by looks
Seeming youthful
Yet aging beneath
Holding secrets
This heartbeat alone
Only tells,

Irregular
Though it survives
Defying skips
More persistent
Than dwindling hope
Hardly faithful
God may change
What’s to come.

Waking up
Means trying again
At appointments
Where laughs remain common
While doctors uphold
Their appearance
So tomorrow proves
Emptier still.

Today,
Another place hurts,

Not like before
But unusual,

Feeling too sore
Beyond normal –

How many things
Can get worse?

• J. Pigno

What’s it like for them
Looking back down,

Watching us laugh
While we gather –

Leaving once more
Feeling lonely,

Just awaiting that time
To return?

These occasions grew cold
With our age,

As the world itself
Became sicker
And masks hid frowns
Always missing
Before each face
Posed a threat.

Now feasts
Must celebrate fear,

Lingering still
After healing,

Kept far too long
Behind latches
Where thoughts
Were safest reprieves –

When staring back out
Among cars,

Passing through streets
Fallen silent,

During seasons lost
Touching windows
Letting glass tell tales
Seeing lights

Share familiar warmth
From afar

But strung across roofs
Trading signals

How life moved on
Despite illness
Once killing those souls
Caught inside.

My hope
Believes heaven’s remorse
Is festive cheer
Raining softly,

Washing that hurt
Wishing snowflakes
Prove relatives dead
Remain close –

Shedding God’s good grace
Off of clouds

Beyond all doubt
Between teardrops

Inspiring faith
Burning brightly
Alongside trees
Seeming dim.

Happiness means
Going home,

Even staying put
Merely knowing

Love’s holiday
Never abandons

Since together endures
High above.

• J. Pigno

It’s been so long
Since I thought of you,

Dreaming we’d met
During high school –

Sitting in back
Of that classroom,

Wishing you real
In my head.

I’d think about
Places we’d live –

An apartment perhaps
Off of Lake Shore,
Where we’d paint our days
Using oils
Across old walls
Turning grey

As the kettle would steam
Every morning
And sunshine peaked
Through our windows,

Holding me tight
While you smiled
As your red locks bobbed
When we’d kiss.

I’d often pretend
You were there,
Hoping for years
I could find you,

Driving down
Michigan Avenue
With my cousin in tow
At the wheel –

Seeking my muse
Far away,

Leaving New York
Ever desperate

On a personal whim
So ridiculous
I’d swear it was love
To this day.

Now I’m sickly,
Married, and old,

Adoring my wife
Just as special,

Telling her once
There was Mia –
A Chicagoan girl
With peach hair,

The saint whose name
Became grace
When a sad man’s soul
Remained lonely,

An angel whose face
Offered solace
During years spent
Seeking that warmth.

She’s the proof of God
I would need
To meet my spouse
Who was waiting
After years of prayers
Begging romance
For a poet whose fate
Appeared grim.

I’m an artist
Because she exists,

I’m her bluesman
Wailing on high notes –

Blessed by the hope
She did give me,
Always high
Despite feeling so low.

When I die
Those curtains will lift,

Like memories
Unveiling her presence,

As words did express
Over decades
What beautiful truth
She revealed.

• J. Pigno

I know why
The cold winds howl
And why we’ve no choice
But surrender
As agony takes
Every moment
From relishing warmth
So unfair

By weakening pits
Barely sparked
Seeking embers lost
During winter
As dwindling tongues
Suffer blizzards
While iciest twigs
Kindle none –

Those frozen homes
Needing flames
Finding empty means
Where surviving
Outside their doors
Having heart attacks
Shoveling snow
For dear life.

We’re perpetually
Caught in this hole
That begs more blood
Being wounded
When prayers won’t work
Asking idols
If frigid blades
Cut us best,

Such dangling knives
Overhead
Above high dreams
Getting sharper
Until that wish
Becomes dangerous
Killing through hope
With each sun.

How beautiful flakes
Hide despair
Uniquely shaped
Though intending
On murderous storms
Bringing sickness
Appearing quite soft
Still at first.

• J. Pigno

You were always there
After school,

Like a home
Never taken for granted,

Without bullies
But TV heroes
Where childhood woes
Found escape

And hopeful dreams
Fighting back
When victory proved
Even simpler
Than enjoying shows
Teaching lessons
So strength is found
Looking deep

Inside such souls
Crying out
Despite how life
Keeps its villains
Hidden by grins
Pushing forward
While needing relief
Never asked.

Sometimes hurt
Seems to win,

And that’s scary enough
Being famous,

Cheering aloud
Forcing courage
Just watching those fans
Smile back –

Feeling forcibly lost
Among stars,

Facing blackest space
Getting darker,

Obscuring their glow
All around you
If focused on pain
Building up.

Tough men
Break apart too
As our champions
Stoically bearing
Weights unseen
Behind cameras
Success will hide
Before long.

My tears
Are about what’s passed,

True glory
Only hindsight offers
Knowing previous tales
Grow immortal
Since legends explode
Upon death –

Glorious light
Across skies
Innumerable kids
Can now stare at,

Healed through sun
Heaven powers

White yet green
Blazing bright.

• J. Pigno

I think about you
Every morning
When amethyst skies
Feel most sullen

As sunlight creeps
Behind darkness
Faint with dawn
Newly birthed,

Hearing that laugh
In my bedroom
Where friendships past
Aren’t memories

But echoes of dreams
Sharing stories
Reliving those days
Gone for good.

My phone never rings
Getting texts
Or occasional calls
Like it used to.

Parenting now
Must take precedence
Over those left back
Staying home.

This early start
Can embellish
How different our worlds
Were becoming

During hours once shared
Never ready
While being big kids
Unprepared.

Is fatherhood worth
Giving up
Everything new
Which reminds us

How life
Still isn’t so serious
By proving now
Age always sucks?

Enjoying our youths
While they last
Means someone must stay
The bad influence.

Maturity just
Doesn’t sound pleasant-
Nothing seems fair
Getting old.

• J. Pigno

All I can write
Are eulogies,

These prayers
Of implied expiration,

Between each line
Growing mortal
In the sense
Such poems take tolls –

How feelings alone
Appear cruel
When scrawled across notes
Barely noticed,

Inside my phone
Behind passwords
Hoping my wife
Could soon guess.

Some eyes bring
Fierce expectations
Upon what words
Remain hidden,

Until that day
Quickly follows
When few but our ills
Would expect

If feared
With its hastened approach
Though expressed
By honest affliction –

Indebted through art
Sorely lacking
Since missing beliefs
Facing death

Which trails
Behind every phrase,

Mocking presence
Increasingly precious,

Memories held close
Gaining meanings
Hindsight might yield
Even more.

Then fanfares blare
Among ruins
Scribbled at night
Where completed,

Watching her sleep
As this heartbeat
Starts to give way
Under stress –

Jotting down dreams
She recalls,

But for me seemed real
While together,

Falling now hard
Into darkness
Sharper than spite
Loss relates

After being so sick
Far too long
And accepting how fate
Tumbles gently
Off castle walls
Below heaven
Like towers we built
Seeking God.

• J. Pigno

I am young again
Often while dreaming
As mom stays close
Where the waves break,

Standing on docks
Near our shoreline,

Watching steamships
Sink off that coast.

Somehow those boats
Aren’t vessels,

But harbingers
Speaking of sadness,

Now what’s to come
After sleeping
When adulthood
Wakes me once more –

And yet
We’re back every night
Still atop old piers
Over darkness,

Watching bows submerge
Underwater,

Soon tearing apart
While they drown.

Just imagine
A life after death
Left blackest
Beneath every ocean,

Seeing such depths
All around you,
Though eternally
Needing escape.

Waking up
Feels fairly absurd,

Damned with faith
Facing morning,

Like wreckage
Assuming salvation –

At least in hell
There is light.

• J. Pigno

Tell me God
Have I earned this dread
From which there is
No escaping,

But dreams that cause
Living shadows
Even though such threats
Reappear

On bedroom walls
Across nights
These chest pains squeeze
Like constrictions
Of blood flow
Cut from delivery
Back towards a heart
Still distressed-

Watching fears grow real
Along ceilings,

Letting terrors
Wake without ending,

Noticing webs
In each corner
As those spiders endure
Under skin.

My anxieties
Aren’t just bugs
But remaining thoughts
Always crawling
Where eyes can’t see
Every movement
Insects make
Weaving nests.

Their existence
Prevents any rest,

Denying that peace
Never certain,

Knowing agony
Presumes all happiness
Is nonsense
Hardly worth rest –

A poor pursuit
Seeking hope
Through our daily deaths
Wasting hours
Which lets each nerve
Soon unravel
Closing both eyes
To what kills.

Sometimes pain
Conquers hope
Despite how sun
Follows morning,

Murdering days
Before ending
After hurting so long
Needing change,

If believing lies
Slumber sells

Through memories
Challenging faithfulness,

Lethally felt
Since experienced
During memories
Rearing once more.

• J. Pigno